"I Gave Up My Green Card for。。。"—She Cries, Sparking Discussion

Source: OT-Team(G)，红网

  Giving up U.S. green card to care for parents: A Chinese student's tough decision stirs debate.

  A recent social media discussion has gone viral in China under the hashtag #Overseas Student Gives Up Green Card To Care For Parents# , sparking widespread debate on the balance between personal career ambitions and family responsibilities.

  Weighing the Decision: Career vs. Family

  Hai Lai (pseudonym), a former international student in the United States, faced a tough decision upon graduating with a master's degree in accounting in 2012—whether to stay in the U.S. or return to China. His primary concern was his aging parents. They supported his decision either way but made it clear they did not want to move to the U.S. due to the language barrier and unfamiliar environment.

  After interning in the U.S. for a while, he realized the green card process was lengthy and would make visiting home difficult. Although he could expect a stable middle-class salary of around $80,000, professional security did not equate to personal fulfillment. He ultimately decided to return to China, considering both his family responsibilities and long-term career development.

  Returning Home: A Different Kind of Stability

  Since returning in 2012, Hai Lai has built a career in Shanghai's financial sector. His parents later relocated from Jiangsu to live nearby, allowing him to support them more easily.

  "Having my parents close by is incomparable to having them on the other side of the world. Even though we don't live together, I can be there quickly if they need me," he said. "When I lived abroad, seeing my parents was measured in years—maybe once a year, or even once every two to three years, which I found unacceptable. Now, I see them weekly and can take them traveling."

  The Ongoing Dilemma for Global Professionals

  Hai Lai acknowledges that his decision is not a universal one. "In the future, my children may study abroad and face the same choice: to stay overseas or return home. But given the way the world is changing, it's hard to predict whether studying or living in the U.S. will still be as desirable as it once was. Ultimately, I will respect their choice."

  The Global Perspective: A Common Struggle

  Hai Lai's story resonates with many professionals who work far from home, whether within China or abroad. The trade-off between pursuing a high-income career overseas and being physically present for aging parents is a dilemma faced by individuals across cultures. While a foreign residency or green card might provide career security, it often comes at the cost of familial connection and responsibility.

  For many Chinese international students, this struggle is deeply tied to traditional values, where filial piety and taking care of one's parents are seen as fundamental duties. The conflict between these cultural expectations and modern global mobility creates a difficult emotional and practical dilemma.

  From a foreign perspective, the situation may be viewed differently. In many Western countries, it is common for elderly parents to live independently or move into assisted living facilities, and children are not necessarily expected to take on full-time caregiving roles. However, expatriates living in China often face a similar challenge in reverse—building careers and families in China while their aging parents remain thousands of miles away in their home countries. Some eventually choose to return home, while others rely on long-distance communication and periodic visits to maintain familial bonds.

  How do you navigate this balance in your own life? Have you faced similar decisions about prioritizing career ambitions or family responsibilities? How do different cultures approach this dilemma? Share your experiences in the comments below.